Week 12 story - The mean old cat
There once was a mouse
That went back home to his house
And to his surprise he saw a big cat
Sleeping
What are you doing feline, feline
What are you doing feline?
This is my new house
She turned and saw the small mouse
And I do not appreciate you rats!
Get out of here you rat, you rat
Get out of here you rat
But I lived here first
So it’s you that must disperse
Get out of my home you smelly old cat
Leave and never come back, come back
Leave and never come back!
But I have a thirst
Would you bring me water first
I promise that I will leave after that
I promise I’ll never come back, come back
I promise I’ll never come back
You I will believe
If you say that you will leave
You better not play any tricks today
Once she’s gone I will play, will play
Once she’s gone I will play
But I have conceived
A plan for the rat to leave
Said the mean cat while the rat was away
I will eat him today, today
I will eat him today
Here is your water
Now you must leave you squatter
Drink it now and leave as you said you would
Leave and never come back, come back
Leave and never come back
But I am hungry
Do you have food among the
All that I ask for is just a small snack
I will not give my food to you, to you
I will not give my food
Then have it your way
And I will just have to stay
For I am too weak to stand up anymore
I am to weak to walk through that door, that door
I am to weak to walk through that door
You cannot be
I will get behind and push
You will not stay here anymore
I will begin to push, to push
I will begin to push
Oh but the mean cat
With one move captured the rat
And quickly, swallowed him whole
The cat ate the rat just like that, like that
The cat ate the rat just like that
Author’s note
This story is based on the story of The Mouse and Mousser from English Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs with illustrations by JohnBatten (1890).
In the original story the mouse and cat are friends and then the cat eats the mouse which I thought was a bit strange, so I changed the plot to make the mouse and cat hate each other. I feel that justify’s the eating of the rat a little bit better than in the first story. I tried to used the same like rhyme pattern but I also added another one. Thanks for reading my story.
Hi Jose! Awesome story! I really liked the rhyme pattern you used and the format in which you told your story. It is so unique and fun to read! I like the changes that you made to the plot. I agree with you that it makes no sense for the cat to eat the mouse if they are friends. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Jose!
ReplyDeleteI love that you decided to try keeping the rhyme pattern from the original story! There are a few places where the syllabic meter doesn't quite match up, but all in all I think it's impressive that you managed to tell the whole story this way. I felt bad for the poor rat (or mouse? not sure, since it switches), though!
Hey Jose,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job of altering the story to where it makes sense why the cat would eat the rat. I agree- it doesn't entirely make sense that the cat would eat the rat if they were friends.The fact that you were still able to adjust the story and keep a rhyme pattern is incredible. It read very smooth, for the most part. I was a little caught up where you wrote:
But I am hungry
Do you have food among the
All that I ask for is just a small snack
It appears that there's a word missing in the second line, unless you were saying "thee." Other than that, great job on this story!
Hi Jose, I really enjoyed reading yours story. This is the first poem that I read of all the stories I have read, so I was glad to see this change of scenery. I think the change you gave to the plot was perfect and did not take away from the originality of the story. The rhyming also made the story fun to read. Overall, great story!
ReplyDeleteHey Jose! I loved the way that you wrote this story, using a rhyming and poetry smile. I thought that was really neat and so different from anything I've read this semester. It kept my attention the whole time and made me want to try to write a poem. Overall, great job. I can't wait to keep reading your stories this semester!
ReplyDeleteHello Jose,
ReplyDeleteThis post is very unique from the ones I've read. This style of writing with rhymes and a poetic tone kept my attention the entire time. With most other stories the writing often becomes slow and often boring but with this style of writing I enjoyed every part of it.
Hi Jose,
ReplyDeleteI didn't expect your story to be a poem but I was pleasantly surprised. The rhyming pattern was atypical and one that I haven't seen before. I like the change that you made to the story. It would make much sense to me either for the cat and mouse to be friends. Good job! Looking forward to your next poem or story!